What Are The Stages Of Grief

Grief is a human, emotional response to personal loss, the ending of a relationship, or a major life change. Your experience with grief will be complex and challenge you in ways you would never expect. Your experience will also differ from your family’s or friends’ experiences, even if the circumstances are the same.

Grief can manifest through anger, guilt, sadness, and a whole array of physical or bodily symptoms. There’s no set time frame for moving through the process, nor is there a linear structure.

It can be a tricky subject for the fact that it still carries some taboo energy and isn’t always acknowledged as a social norm. Understanding how the process works and knowing your feelings are completely valid is a large part of being able to heal from it.

Grief is a dynamic process, typically experienced in five stages, but note that each stage can happen more than once. Here is more information on each of the stages.

Denial

In the initial time after a loss or significant change, feeling numb is very common. You don’t want to admit that the situation occurred, and often, it’s easier to act as though nothing has happened. It’s your brain’s way of protection and self-preservation.

You’re not ready to accept your new reality, so you deny that the adverse event has happened. Carrying on in the short term may work, making this stage necessary, but over time, you’ll find this to be a distorted reality.

Anger

When a loved one dies, or a relationship ends, being angry and upset is a natural response. The circumstances surrounding the loss influence how angry you truly feel.

You may experience anger towards the person who left, towards yourself for handling matters “incorrectly,” or at the world for dealing you this hand of cards.

Bargaining

When you experience the pain of a difficult loss, there may be difficulty in accepting that loss. The human mind has a knack for creating what-if scenarios and ruminating over alternative endings.

During the grieving process, it can be hard to accept that there’s nothing you can do to change that outcome. You may find yourself making bargains as a way to cope with the situation, but bargains aren’t exactly realistic.

The bargaining stage is where you try to make deals. If you’re religious, it might be dealing with God. It might be deals with yourself to change some behavior or habit that will make you feel better or prevent another loss. You may even find yourself bargaining to make the thing you lost return.

Depression

This is probably the most familiar stage that comes to mind when thinking of grief. The depression stage is where the sadness sets in. During this time, you may experience an intense pain and longing that takes you on a roller coaster of emotions.

Depending on your circumstances, this stage can last for many months. You may find yourself having a decent day, and then, out of nowhere, you hit a low. Life doesn’t feel as meaningful due to your feelings over this loss.

Acceptance

Eventually, you’ll hit a spot where you come out on the other side of your grief. Your pain will lessen, you’ll start to feel like yourself again, and, more importantly, you’ll find acceptance of the situation.

Healing from grief doesn’t mean forgetting all of your memories. While you may always carry some part of this loss with you, you do start to learn how to move forward and find happiness again.

If you’ve experienced a significant loss and need guidance moving through the stages of grief, we can help. Contact me for more information about grief and loss therapy.