How to Find Your Support Network When Grieving
In times of grief, it can feel comfortable — even logical — to isolate oneself. While, of course, some solitude is good for everyone, grief is a tricky, complicated ride. It requires the support of others — even when we feel like withdrawing. Thus, even in the face of your pain, it’s critical that seek healing in the presence of others.
You have every right to choose who is part of your support network. You’ll want people who know, trust, and love on your side. During bereavement, there are so many ways others can help. Therefore, a giant step toward recovery involves asking for and accepting support.
Mourning is Not What Most of Us Expect
For starters, it arrives with a slew of symptoms that contribute to your distress. Most folks will expect to be sad and lonely but remain unprepared for side effects like:
Shock
Denial
Angry outbursts
Guilt and shame
Hopelessness
Helplessness
Physical issues like sleep disturbances and unexplained aches and tension
Meanwhile, well-intentioned souls may offer platitudes that leave you feeling misunderstood and invalidated. People telling you to “move on” or “stay strong” only makes it easier for you to withdraw. So, to repeat, you’ll want to be discerning about who you team up with.
4 Ways to Find Your Support Network When Grieving
1. Get Counseling
No one will know exactly what you’re feeling but a therapist has the kind of training and experience to offer a wide range of comfort. Your sessions offer a safe space and a private setting to begin exploring a topic that most of society avoids. This can offer incredible solace at a time when you feel all alone. After experiencing a loss, it’s a self-loving choice to begin contacting therapists to find the right fit. Your workplace or school may also offer counseling services.
2. Connect With Family and Friends
They know you best and some of them will surely have known the person who has passed. This can be a huge relief but some of you may feel uncomfortable being so vulnerable in front of someone you know. In that case, you can still ask for help with all the logistics and details you’re managing in your weakened state. When someone offers to prepare meals or drive your kids to school, you can accept that practical support without feeling the need to open up about your emotions.
3. Find a Support Group
There’s something liberating about interacting with strangers who have one major point of similarity. People who are grieving can offer so much in terms of real-life experience. In addition, a support group setting positions you to also offer support and comfort. This can be wonderfully powerful in rebuilding your resilience. If you feel wary of meeting a group of strangers in person, online groups are popular and easy to find.
4. Try Something New and Unrelated
It may feel counterintuitive to pick up a new hobby while you mourn but it could be just what you need. No one can or should focus all their attention on the pain they’re experiencing. So, after assessing your energy levels, why not take on new activities or join some kind of club (book club, exercise class, etc.) to help create a healthy balance in your life? Taking part in a collaborative effort of some sort can be quite restorative.
Returning to Tip #1 Above
Your grief journey will present some unique challenges but it shouldn’t be a solo act. Mourning can be made smoother with the guidance of a professional. From there, you can discover ways to find your personal support network. I’d love to talk more about this with you soon. Reach out to learn more about grief therapy.