Understanding the Connection Between the Fear of Failure and Social Anxiety
Some people are shy and introverted. They prefer to avoid the spotlight and are not exactly a social butterfly. For the most part, this is not a cause for concern. Everyone, after all, has their own distinct personality. However, if you’ve been doing some internet searching for the meaning of “social anxiety” lately, there might be more going on.
Shyness is an attribute and it doesn’t hamper your daily functioning. Social anxiety is a disorder that impacts your life in many negative ways. But why do some people struggle with their daily interactions? One possible reason could be based on a fear of failure.
The Connection Between the Fear of Failure and Social Anxiety
Social anxiety disorder is a chronic mental health condition. People with this diagnosis experience high levels of irrational anxiety when it comes to social interactions. They fear being watched, judged, humiliated, or embarrassed — even when such risks do not seem to exist. Think of it as self-consciousness on steroids.
Fear of failure, a.k.a “atychiphobia,” is not a diagnosis. However, it’s also a source of irrational anxiety. People with this psychological construct allocate a lot of energy toward worrying about how they are viewed and judged. Fear of failure can lead to procrastination and social withdrawal.
Either or both problems can be associated with anyone who has been traumatized or bullied.
When Both Fear of Failure and Social Anxiety Are Present
As you can see, the intersection and overlap are strong. When both issues are present, you may experience signs and behaviors like:
Black-and-white thinking (e.g. having no tolerance for anything less than “perfection”)
Always expecting the worst
People pleasing
Setting very unrealistic expectations of yourself (and others)
What Can the Combination of Fear of Failure and Social Anxiety Cause?
Self-Isolation
If your default setting is to avoid any chance of embarrassment at all costs, well… it may feel safest to choose social withdrawal. Hiding yourself away may initially feel calming but self-isolation will only exacerbate and/or increase your emotional issues. It could lead to depression which will serve to reinforce the beliefs that create social anxiety and a fear of failure.
Controlling Behaviors
Those who don’t have the option to withdraw are left to try to control their circumstances. In the name of preventing perceived failure and risk, they construct elaborate structures and rituals to limit the danger of imperfection. This choice will further impair your social life and thus appear to prove your worst fears to be true.
Low Self-Esteem
If a minor setback can shatter your confidence, such fragility is a recipe for low self-esteem. How can anyone feel worthy if the standard being set is perfection?
Relationship Issues
Whether it’s a romantic connection or a platonic friendship, you’ll find it hard to open and up and relax with others. You can’t relax. Every step of the way, you imagine yourself being judged so you resist being vulnerable enough to truly connect with others. You may decide that the risk of rejection is more frightening than loneliness.
What Can Be Done About Fear of Failure and Social Anxiety?
Contrary to all the dread discussed above, this blend of mental health issues can absolutely be managed and often resolved. However, it’s typically not something you’ll want to tackle on your own. Gaining a professional outside perspective is crucial for identifying the counterproductive patterns that pervade your daily life.
With our guidance, you can reimagine what “success” and failure” mean to you as you ease yourself into a more wide-open and spacious social life. To get started on this healing journey, I invite you to reach out to me and schedule a consultation for anxiety therapy.